My Birth Story
Since giving birth to Kiya, I have been totally in awe of the vaginal birthing process. I was robbed of the experience during my first pregnancy. As I was in the hospital, delivering Kiya, the phrase repeatedly came to mind: “We (women) were made for this”, and I whole-heartedly believe it. Our female bodies are magical!
From the beginning of my pregnancy, as many mothers do, I held some fear of giving birth. I spent a great deal of energy doing research and asking all the questions. There were a number of complications with Na’im’s birth, so as I prepared for Kiya, the only way I knew how to settle my control issues was to continually ask myself, “How can I possibly make this next experience less traumatic?”
Though there is never the perfect answer to a question like that, I knew that it would be important to create a birth plan to outline what I needed and wanted in this new experience of vaginal birth. One main pillar of my birth plan out of the gate was simple: absolutely no induction. I’d developed the belief that babies should come when they feel ready. And if I couldn’t allow her to do this, I was ok with just having another c-section. I thought, “I’ve already had a c-section once, and because I understand it, I would be most comfortable with this outcome.” Little did I know, the exact thing I was doing my best to avoid would become my reality.
On November 13th, I went in for a routine doctor’s appointment. When the doctor asked me how Kiya was doing, I explained that she wasn’t moving around as much as she normally had been. At first, I didn’t think much of it, mainly because she was still somewhat active. But during that appointment, the doctor proceeded to check her heartbeat with the doppler monitor to discover that her heart rate was lower than normal. He then advised me to go into Labor & Delivery to get monitored more closely. I left that room thinking, “All right, you know it’s cool; I’ll go in.” I didn’t even consider the fact that this could turn out to be a big deal.
The doctor on-call performed the fetal test and, to our surprise, her vitals were not good. Moments after the results came in, the doctor informed me that they were going to induce me that same day just to be safe. As with many cases, his concern was that I would go home and be too far from reach if something substantial did go wrong with Kiya. Talk about your anxiety being triggered!
Ladies, it is so crucial for you and your partner to be present, involved, and unified in major life-experiences, like pregnancy and birth. Thank God Tarik was in a good place mentally regarding the induction when he arrived at the hospital. His calm and focus provided me the assurance I needed to feel peace in the doctor’s decision to induce. Like two soldiers gearing up for battle, we prayed together, turned on some worship music, and got prepared for the birth of our baby girl.
Luckily, we weren’t the only ones who came game-ready. I love the doctors and nurses at the hospital I delivered at because of how encouraging they were to me through my VBAC. This really affirms the importance of doing major research when planning your delivery, especially researching the staff directly involved with your birth.. A few of the nurses told me their stories of experiencing successful VBACs, and one nurse even had her own VBAC in the exact room I was delivering in. The nurses enhanced my focus and put my mind in a positive space, which was clutch for me.
In the beginning, they started with some manual induction techniques. My body labored naturally without an epidural or Pitocin for about 6 or 7 hours, which was good for me because I’ve discovered that my body does better not being slammed with drugs. There was a little catch to this, however, when a major hiccup took place: toward the end of my birth when I was about 8 cm dilated, the effect of my epidural stopped working on the entire left side of my body. You can imagine just how nerve-racking this was! At that moment, my focus became so distracted: “The pain and pulling is so intense - what if this ruptures my scar? That would be very dangerous for me and for the baby, right? I should tell the doctor to stop, right?” When I gathered my thoughts and focused my energy, I was able to remember what I felt God telling me from the beginning: My labor was going to be safe and I would give birth naturally. I am so grateful for the times I’ve practiced this exercise of mental surrender in the not-so-intense times of life because it truly does build your ability to trust during huge circumstances. I prayed, “Not my will, but YOURS”, and was able to move forward.
After about two hours, the doctors came in and fixed my epidural which, thankfully, worked on the left side again. My body relaxed again, and it was time to push. The doctor set up for birth, I pushed three times through three contractions, and she was out!
I feel so blessed to have had the experience I did, and I hope my story serves as an encouragement for all moms who want to try for a vaginal birth after C-section. Create a birth plan that holds your desires and your goals for your pregnancy, and work through that plan with open hands. Stay unified with your partner and support system, inviting them into your plan. Do your research according to what you want - the right doctor and the hospital with the right fit are out there for you. You can do it!
- Ken